Women’s retreat presenter to speak from experience about finding hope in suffering
April 5, 2025, 9:30 am - 3:30 pm, Shrine of Our Lady of Sorrows, Starkenburg
Mary Lenaburg agrees that life is like a box of chocolate.
Bittersweet chocolate that is — her favorite kind.
“It has some bitterness, a little bite to it, before you taste the sweet,” said Mrs. Lenaburg, award-winning Catholic author and guest speaker for this year’s the Women’s Ministry Spring Pilgrimage on April 5 in Starkenburg.
The retreat will be from 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. in Valentine Hall on the grounds of the Shrine of Our Lady of Sorrows, 197 State Highway P in Starkenburg.
The theme will be “Finding Hope in Suffering.”
“You have joy and sorrow hand-in-hand every day,” said Mrs. Lenaburg. “The majority of our lives are spent in Holy Saturday position, kind-of quiet waiting.
“It’s bittersweet,” she said. “You’re waiting for something to happen. You’re anticipating some good thing.”
In an event guaranteed to bring tears and abundant laughter — sometimes at the same time — Mrs. Lenaburg will share the story of her family, a story that’s intense but full of joy.
“There is sweetness in this life, even when it’s hard,” she insisted. “The pain doesn’t win. Our Lady shows us that. Her life most certainly did not end when Jesus expired on the cross.
“If Our Lady can weep at the foot of the cross, can bury her son, can know that life on this planet is just a very limited period of time and that eternity is for eternity, and she can go out and love, then why can’t I? Why shouldn’t I?” said Mrs. Lenaburg.
Gifts in disguise
Mrs. Lenaburg, has served her local parish in many capacities including as liturgist, a youth ministry core team member and a catechist for the Sacrament of Confirmation.
Now, she travels the country speaking to all age groups, sharing laughs and building faith.
She is author of two books: Be Brave in the Scared and Be Bold in the Broken.
She insists that sorrow isn’t something to be avoided, hidden or buried.
“It doesn’t define you, it refines you,” she stated. “It narrows your focus to what is important. And what is important today is how you love today.”
She said the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary — Jesus’s Agony in the Garden, the Scourging at the Pillar, the Crowning with Thorns, the Carrying of the Cross, and the Crucifixion and Death of Jesus — are “all about love.”
“Yes, the Lord will ask you to carry a cross, a burden,” she said. “There are going to be challenges in marriages and in finances and families and jobs, in being a parent or in not being a parent.”
Yet, Mrs. Lenaburg insisted, God walks that difficult walk with people who turn to him.
By way of the cross
Mrs. Lenaburg and her husband Jerry brought four souls into the world: two lost to miscarriage, a healthy son, and a daughter who was plagued with numerous daily grand mal seizures and severe disabilities until her body gave out at age 22.
Courtney, their daughter, had her first seizure on the day of her Baptism.
Doctors could never figure out the cause of the violent seizures, which often interrupted her breathing.
“She was wheelchair-bound, nonverbal and cortically blind, which meant she could only see shapes and shadows,” said Mrs. Lenaburg.
Courtney could do nothing for herself. Medical treatments to ease her suffering didn’t help and in some cases made matters worse.
Mr. and Mrs. Lenaburg battled addictions while dealing with the trauma and daily grind.
The family attempted to shoulder the grief, anger and frustration of Courtney’s condition alone before gaining a semblance of peace and acceptance.
“We pretty much came to an understanding that every life has great value and that everyone has a mission,” Mrs. Lenaburg recalled. “God gave Courtney an important mission, and she needed us to be her hands and feet.”
They were living their own version of the Sorrowful Mysteries.
“We were face-down in the garden, asking God to take this cup from us,” said Mrs. Lenaburg. “And like Jesus, we said, ‘But if it is your will, we will walk this walk and walk it as well as we can, with Jesus as our example.’”
They began noticing the many unexpected, overwhelming ways God showed up in their lives.
And they began to change.
“Courtney changed us,” said Mrs. Lenaburg. “We are simply not the same people who got married in the Chapel at the Naval Academy in 1988. We learned to love as God loves us.”
Courtney’s only job, they grew to understand, was to receive love and give it.
“Only God would write this kind of story,” said Mrs. Lenaburg. “Her life was bookended and defined by the cross. And yet, you can’t find another other person more filled with joy and peace. Her smile would take over the room. Her laughter would give you strength and courage to laugh for weeks.”
Work left to do
In times of fear and helplessness, especially during Courtney’s seizures, Mrs. Lenaburg turned instinctively to the Blessed Mother for intercession.
“I call Our Lady of Sorrows the cause of my joy,” she said.
Mrs. Lenaburg’s own “Pieta” moment helped her relate as a mother to Mary’s utterly bittersweet experience of her Son’s passion, death and resurrection.
Presenting Courtney back to God at the end of her earthly life proved to be as difficult as helping her stay alive.
Her kidneys were failing, so she and her doctors agreed to place her in hospice and comfort care.
“In 2014, during the season of Advent, while the world was preparing for a Baby to be born into this world, we were waiting for our daughter to be born into heaven,” said Mrs. Lenaburg.
No more doctor’s appointments or physical therapy. Only love, given and received, every single day.
“When I held her at 1:51 a.m. on Dec. 27 of that year, she simply exhaled and left this life with a smile on her face,” Mrs. Lenaburg recalled.
Through the grieving, God helped Mr. and Mrs. Lenaburg understand that their lives had not ended.
“If there’s breath in your body, you still have work to do,” said Mrs. Lenaburg. “Our Lady shows us that. Her life did not end when Jesus died on the cross.”
Nothing wasted
Mrs. Lenaburg said she hopes to help the women who attend the retreat rediscover a truly Catholic appreciation for the suffering they experience.
She encourages every woman to make time to attend the retreat.
“It’s going to be a powerful day,” she stated. “It’s always beautiful to be able to sit in community for a day with a room full of women who believe as you do and are striving for holiness as you are, and see yourself as God sees you.”
She emphasized the power of hope in suffering.
“God did an amazing work on our marriage and our family, through a child who could never walk and never talk and barely see,” said Mrs. Lenaburg. “We continue to live these lessons, even though Courtney has been home with the Lord for 10 years.”
It’s all about trust, she added.
“Trusting that God is God and I’m not, and that he loves me and wants what is good and what is for his glory, and that not one thing in this life will be wasted,” she said.
The $15-per-person cost for the retreat includes lunch.
For information or to register, visit:
