RUTTER: Fearfully, Wonderfully Made? Do Not Let Me Stray

This week I had planned to write about King David’s song of praise to our Lord, showering Him with words of astonishment and humility:

“You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother’s womb. I praise you, because I am wonderfully made; wonderful are your works! My very self you know.” (Psalm 139:13-14)

But when I arose early this morning, the world around me had changed. For today is the 25-year anniversary of 9/11, when planes attacked and destroyed the twin towers in New York City and the Pentagon in Washington D.C., killing 3,000 innocent people in a matter of hours.

Watching the newscasts takes me back to that terrible day, and instead of marveling at God’s wonderful works, my eyes are cast to the following verse:

“Probe me, God, know my heart; try me, know my thoughts. See if there is a wicked path in me; lead me along an ancient path.” (Ps 139:23-24)

On 9/11, it was the wicked path that prevailed.

It’s hard to reconcile the fact that our God creates us with his unbounded love, yet somewhere in the recesses of our frail hearts we can harbor such evil that we would willingly kill others.

And for what?

The readings this past week got even more difficult.

On the 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time, we heard from Sirach that we are to forgive our neighbor’s sins, lest we are unforgiven for ours.

It is God who will reap vengeance on the unrepentant sinner. (Sirach 28:1)

Jesus reminds us of this in the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant, whom the master severely punishes for his lack of forgiveness toward his fellow servants. (Matthew 18:34)

Ill will, hatred and vengeance are poisons that destroy the heart.

Forgiveness is the balm that heals and magnifies it for good.

In my simple mind, justice lies somewhere in between vengeance and forgiveness.

“It’s a thin line,” says my David (not the psalmist). The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines a Just War, one of the caveats being that “the damage inflicted by the aggressor on the nation or community of nations must be lasting, grave, and certain” (#2309).

Surely, that caveat applies to our nation’s retaliation after 9-11.

With it comes the sadness that innocents have died on both sides of the war and that Christ continues to be rejected by shahs and false prophets in favor of spreading more hate.

Unwilling to give up their temporal power, they reject the desire for our Creator God who “redeems your life from destruction, crowns you with kindness and compassion.” (Psalm 103:4)

These thoughts call me to self-examination. I needn’t compare my “sins” to others and determine on a scale of one to ten where I stand in God’s mercy and grace.

Left to my own ego, I will always come out ahead. But self-puffery and ego are not God’s way.

Going back to the original verse that changed the course of my words today, I bow down and ask God to probe my thoughts and lead me on his ancient path to the pure light of heaven. (Psalm 139:23-24)

And so I pray: Dear Lord, wipe out any thoughts of vengeance that Satan tries to plant in me. Instead, fill my heart with your light and love. Guide our United States of America in its commitment to faith, family and freedom.